I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
