ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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