"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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