Kiss
Puke
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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