Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
