if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
