I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
