My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
babies were throwing up all over the place
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
