1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
