she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
