I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
