Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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