I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
