Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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