3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
