Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
