Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you didnt know i had herpes?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
