Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
