well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
