Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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