Already got asked if we're dating
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
