I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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