lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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