Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
