Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
