Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
