I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
