instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
