honey bunches of taint.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
