So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hippo gnu deer
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
