We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Fuck appropriateness.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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