Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
