either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
