Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
