I just cut my nipple shaving
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
