Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
