If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I've blown a few things in my day
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
