I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
