Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
