Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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