Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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