Yo dont text me then not text me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
