That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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