I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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