Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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