some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
