her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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