Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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