Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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