dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
thus making me awesome and them whores
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
